Why Preparing for the Unthinkable Is an Act of Love

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to make life easier for my family if something ever happens to me. It’s not exactly a cheerful topic. And no, I’m not sick. I’m not elderly. I’m just aware.

That awareness comes from what happened when my father passed away.

He went from being fine, to having abdominal pain, to an emergency room visit where they found advanced liver cancer. The surgery he hoped would save his life didn’t. The entire month from diagnosis to losing him was a blur. One moment we were talking about recovery plans. Next, I was on a plane from Toronto to São Paulo for his funeral. There was no time to process anything.

And then came the practical reality.

My father was wonderful at many things, but being organized was not one of them. I had no idea where his financial documents were, what assets he had, or even which banks to contact. Brazil is an incredibly bureaucratic place to navigate, and every step required paperwork I didn’t yet have, certificates from lawyers who weren’t ready, and forms that needed other forms to exist first.

It took years to untangle. Even now, 12 years later, I cannot say with 100% certainty that everything was fully resolved.

In the past year, I’ve seen similar situations happen around me. Someone passes, unexpectedly or not, and the person left behind is faced not only with grief, but with figuring out day-to-day life at the same time. And often, the person who handled certain responsibilities, bills, accounts, household logistics, isn’t the one who’s left to manage them. It’s a lot to untangle at the worst possible moment.

I realized that in my own family, things are similar. I manage the household finances, bill payments, banking, schedules. My husband manages property maintenance and tenants. If either of us were suddenly gone, the other would be lost in a maze of accounts, passwords, numbers, names, and processes.

So I decided to fix that.

I created one shared document and put everything in it: accounts, contacts, property information, recurring bills, where things are stored, who to call, what needs attention monthly, quarterly, yearly.

It took me a few hours. Maybe half a day.

And it gave me peace.

If you’d like to do the same, fill this out to get a starting checklist:

​​It’s not about being morbid. It’s about being kind.

We hope we’ll never need this preparation. We hope we’ll all have long, healthy lives ahead. But when loss happens unexpectedly, the emotional weight is already heavy enough. Adding chaos, confusion, and paperwork on top of grief is something we can prevent.

A few hours of organization now could spare your family months or even years of stress later.

If this speaks to you, take it as your sign to start. Sit down, gather the basics, put it in one place, and have one conversation with the person who would need to know.

You don’t have to be ready for everything.
Just make sure they won’t have to navigate it alone.